VAL1ANT

The Past and the Future

2010-06-20T21:30:00.001-07:00

So, a note to begin: I decided not to do uberman around the 24 hour mark. It wasn’t because I was tired or whatever… I simply realized that I have NOTHING to do with that extra time. I’ve been spending way too much time indoors sulking as it is (my girlfriend broke up with me 2 1/2 weeks ago. I’m starting to recover, but I still have my moments >_<), and it just wouldn’t be good for my mental state. I did learn a lot about the human brain and sleep though, so that’s good. I also had a lot of time for introspection, which gave me some surprising results. Anyways. The best thing that came out of it… will be covered in a future post. *suspense*

Also, I got into DOE (Discover Ocean Engineering) for my FPOP (Freshman Pre-Orientation Program)!! It was my first choice, followed by Discover Mechanical Engineering, Discover Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, Freshman Urban Program, and Discover Exercise and Wellness. But those don’t matter because I’mma build an underwater robot!

Anyways.

What I really want to talk about today is leaving and the separation anxiety that I am already feeling. As most of you probably know, I’m going to MIT in the fall. Now, what this means is that I have to leave my home and my family and friends to study at this place at which I know almost nobody. Now, I’m not too concerned about making friends; sure, I can be a little shy, but I also plan to be involved (marching band, gaMIT, and Outing Club, to name a few possibilities). So I’m not too worried about that. What I am worried about is leaving my friends and family and just, my HOME behind. I have worked so hard to be comfortable in my place, and now I have to leave? It’s just… unfair.

Now, back in the day, I disliked my hometown a lot. It was too this, too that, and I was bullied a lot. I couldn’t wait to get out. Now, faced with my impending departure, I’m taken the time to really look at the places in which I’ve lived. The park by my house, for example. I spend SO MUCH of my childhood there. There are so many memories and things that occurred there; I can’t even begin to describe them. My old school- a Catholic school that I attended for 3rd through 8th grade. I used to make hissing noises, form expelling crosses with my fingers, and flip that old building off every time I passed it. But now, I see the beauty in its old, old bricks and large, wooden-framed windows. Even the church next door holds a place in my heart. And camp… that is truly the most special place to me. That is the place, every summer from the one after 4th grade to the one after 10th, where I could really, truly be myself, without worry of whether I’d be ridiculed for my rather hyperactive demeanor or obsession with Clay Aiken. Just the camp itself, even… it has a smell unlike any other (I have a thing for smells). I could walk around that camp backwards in a blindfold and not get lost (well, maybe not on the trails…). If there is one thing I regret right now, it’s not applying to be a counselor there this summer. But that is another matter.

Anyways, all of these places from my life… yeah, I guess those are what I’ll miss most. I can always Skype with, write to, or call up my loved ones. But I can’t really go back to these familiar places… at least not for a couple months.

Note: Sorry this entry is a little scattered and self-indulgent. I just needed to get this out before bed.

UBERMAN DAY 1

2010-06-14T19:36:00.001-07:00

2:25- I just “had” my first official nap on Uberman. The quotes are there because, really, I just kind of laid there for 25 minutes (My alarm is set at 25 minutes past each hour). I think that my lack of sleep can be attributed to three things: my excitement about this new experiment, the fact that my average bedtime has been ~3am for the past few weeks, and the fact that I was reading and working on the computer just prior to my nap. So… that is that. 3.5 hours until my next nap. Go team!

3:45- I’m starting to get drowsy. I’ve been surfing www.stevepavlina.com, reading about his polyphasic experience, as well as his 30-day raw cleanse and 92-day juice feast. I think… that we really have a lot in common. I’ve gathered, from what I’ve read, that he’s a real self-improver. He’s open to experimenting, and he’ll do things “just to see” if he can do it. He also really looks to the primordial human and compares it to the American human today. These attributes all really resound in me. See, this Uberman thing is really just an experiment for me. I want to test myself. Do I think it’s great in moderation? Sure. Everyman is actually really reasonable. Will I keep Uberman when I go away to school? Probably not. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t experiment. I’m perfectly healthy- a vegan who eats as healthily as possible, who doesn’t take any drugs (except caffeine), and who is on the way to exercising regularly. In fact, I’m thinking of training for a 40-mile charity bike ride in early August. But anyways… This experiment should have no measurable impact on my health. And if it does… well, I’m pretty well in-tune with my body and its needs, so I’ll make that decision when I need to do so. Anyways… back to reading. Oh, and I hear a train, which only pass in my town at night and early morning. Cool!

4:40- Really tired. ;_; I’m listening to the album “Paper Television” by The Blow to help pass the time… it’s kind of peppy. Reading through Steve Palina’s polyphasic log, I saw that he allowed naps in-between regularly-scheduled naps. Unfortunately, I realized this just now, already too late to take a supplementary nap. I think I’ll get through it though. 1.25 hours? It can’t be too bad. During my adaptation phase, my main goal is to get through it. I have no major responsibilities within the next week or so, except two meetings tomorrow (one in-person and one online) and a Pride event this weekend… which will probably be a challenge. >_> But that’s what this is- a challenge. I’m doing this not for any end, for the means is a end in and of itself- as the greatest things in life are. To quote an unnamed talentless hack, “Ain’t about how fast I get there, ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side. It’s the climb.” And now, I turn back to teh Interwebs for entertainment.

5:40- Damn, I cannot wait to sleep. Twenty minutes… that’s it. This feels really surreal… like it should still be early in the night. Hell, in the school year, I got up at this time! Weird. However, I don’t feel too spacey yet. I might lay down maybe 5 minutes early, just to help me sleep. That sounds reasonable. Mrrrrrgh.

5:50- It’s starting to get light out. I can hear the birds chirping. This is kinda trippy. I’m going to lay down now, 10 minutes early, just because I really have nothing else to do.

10:30- Fffffff. I overslept. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But I’m not that terrible at this. I think I half-consciously disabled my alarm when it rang, so I slept until 10. Damn. But I will not give up! This is an important experiment. After discovering my error, I went back to sleep (it was time for my third nap). So anyways, this was a lesson, and I’m glad it happened this early. I know now to take extra naps when needed and that I need a better alarm system.

13:30- I just got back from my lunch meeting, which was quite nice. From now on, I plan to use the Stanford Sleepiness Scale to measure my tiredness:

I just ate, so I feel like I’m at about a 3. I hope I can increase my number a bit so I have an easier time sleeping. I really don’t want to skip another nap. >_> After my 2pm nap, I hope to play some guitar and maybe do some cleaning.

14:30-I just woke up from my 14:00 nap. One thing I really noticed is that I got to sleep really quickly. I got about 15 minutes of non-deep sleep before I woke up, paranoid that I would sleep through my alarm. However, I didn’t, and I kinda sorta drifted off for the remaining time. I think I might have had some trouble getting to deeper sleep, too, because I had just eaten… I don’t usually sleep well if I eat before bed. Right now, my sleepiness is at about a 3.

16:30- I just woke up from a supplemental nap. I’m at about a 4… tired, but I don’t want to go to sleep. During my nap, though I did not dream, I feel myself falling into deeper and deeper sleep each consecutive nap. I want some REMMMMM…

18:30- I just woke up from my nap. I feel really warm, but not too tired. I had a small dream that upset me slightly… I will put it in my journal. I’ve been reading about raw foods, and I –really- like what I’m seeing. Being a vegan, I do read a bit about it, just in my normal reading. But now, I’m seeing how it is a reasonable and healthy way of eating. It makes a lot of sense. :) I have an AIM meeting tonight at 20:00 to discuss a job opportunity- a work-from-home job, which is awesome because no one wants to hire a green 18-year-old who’s leaving in two months. Holy shit- I’m leaving in two months! :D I feel like I’m around a 2 on the SSS.

21:00- I’m surprised by the amount of energy I feel. I think it may be an effect of that last bit of deep sleep. Right now, I’m at about a 2.

22:30- Just completed my “nap”- my last nap of day 1! It was way hot in my lout bed, and my brain was running pretty quickly, so I didn’t sleep at all. It passed quickly though. I’m at a 3 right now. Oh, and yaaay, I made it through one day! :D

Setting Forth in the Universe

2010-06-13T21:30:00.001-07:00

Hey all! You know, I’m not going to apologize for or elaborate on my lack of blogs. Hence:

Today, I am officially starting the uberman sleep schedule. Uberman is a polyphasic sleep schedule in which one trains oneself to enter REM, the only really useful part of sleep, immediately after falling asleep. On this schedule, one takes six twenty-minute naps per day, thus fulfilling the healthy requirement of six daily cycles of REM. Yes, that's right... I'll –hopefully- end up needing only 2 hours of sleep per day.

I originally learned about polyphasic sleep at CPW, whilst getting my daily dose of vitamin C. I remarked to the guy standing next to me that I had gotten very little sleep during the weekend. I didn’t really think about it at all until a week or two ago, when I stumbled upon a discussion about it on the MIT 2014 Facebook group. So I looked it up, liked what I saw, and decided to try it. There are several different kinds of polyphasic sleep, all with different nap (and optional “core sleep”) arrangements. As mentioned above, I am trying uberman, which is often said to be the most “extreme” form of polyphasic sleep… but I feel up to the challenge!

I will document the experience on paper first, then probably transfer that information to teh Interwebz via this, DailyBooth, and maybe Facebook and YouTube too. I haven't really decided upon the specifics. Anyways, I will be taking my naps at 2, 6, and 10 AM and PM, +/- 30min.

The biggest struggle during the ~two-week adjustment period, after staying awake, is finding things to do. So, here's a list of possible activities (to which I will probably add), along with a key... It actually kind of doubles as a summer project goal list:

hang out with friends and be social*
practice sign language
search for music
make weaving loom
spin yarn
practice guitar*
practice bassoon*
practice piano*
knit (finish socks!)
chat & text
go biking**
go to the gym**
read Shakespeare
read Dawkins
read Thoreau (at a park?**)
fix the sewing machine
clean out bins downstairs**
clean my room
clean my folders (virtual and physical)
meditate

* = can only be done when no one is sleeping
** = can only be done during the daytime with suitable weather

So yeah... this will be an interesting experience. Wish me luck and light eyelids?

A small update on my life...

2010-03-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Here's a small update on what I've been up to.

Past few months:

Yesterday:

(I'm in the green coat, 4th from the right, next to my beautiful girlfriend in the Gearheads hoodie)
http://grossepointetoday.com/news/comment/00922-comment-war-overor-havent-you-heard

Yeah, it was awesome. The ratio was about 70% LGBT-lovers and 30% intolerant Christians. It was really, really fun. :3

I'm going to CPW!! It's from April 8-11. It's gonna be sweet. I'm also going to Florida- Key West (heck yesss!!!) and Key Largo- with my family beforehand. So that's pretty much my Spring Break. I have two days of school next week, then Spring Break, then three weeks of school, then Senior Honor's Project (possibly at a local yarn store!!), then graduation/prom/whatever, and then SUMMEERRRRRRRR!!! I'm pumped.

That's pretty much it. Oh, and homework. More details to come.

Anatomy of a Late Night

2010-03-11T20:43:00.001-08:00

8:15 pm: I get home from a volunteer meeting. Start freaking out because my mom’s yelling at me and my dad’s at parent-teacher conferences. Wish I could drive.

8:17 pm: I make a cup of cold coffee/soymilk in a mug and eat a handful of Reeses Puffs.

8:24 pm: I start gathering stuff for homework.

8:34 pm: I walk into my room and realize what a mess it is. I set my junk down.

8:40 pm: I realize that I can’t find my Calc book. Freak out and kind of dissolve into tears.

8:48 pm: I grow a pair and stop crying. I pull a hat on and go to look for my book.

8:55 pm: I realize that it’s in my mom’s car. I sigh with relief and retrieve it.

9:01 pm: I return to my room. I feel frazzled because it’s a mess. I start doing homework. I start chatting with Sugar Tits (codename, haha). :)

9:05 pm: I get distracted by music. I start listening to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack

9:17 pm: I actually work on Calc.

9:35 pm: Sugar Tits and I stop chatting because she gets to go to bed, the lucky duck. :P I get back to work.

10:37 pm: I realize that I’ve been twirling my hair for the past fifteen minutes, staring at my Calc book.

10:50 pm: I think about cutting my hair.

10:58 pm: I consider shaving my head.

11:03 pm: I decide to get the eff back to work, gah!

11:13 pm: I actually get a problem right! Yeah!

11:14 pm: I realize that I missed 11:11. Aww. D:

11:18 pm: I start feeling cold. I realize that I’m not wearing pants. I shrug and get back to work.

11:22 pm: I realize that I hate finances and skip #21.

11:24 pm: Kaki King makes me feel better.

11:28 pm: I hear rain, and rather than looking outside, I check weather.com. I’m still cold.

11:41 pm: I realize how distracted I am. I vow to finish the last problem, plus some French, tomorrow before school. I promise myself that I’ll clean my room tomorrow because I think that might be what’s throwing me off so much. I really am not this unfocused normally. >.>

11:43 pm: Sleep may help. Goodnight!

Don’t Mind Me; I’m Just Reminiscing…

2010-01-25T19:55:00.001-08:00

Moon on the Meadow

Chorus:
Moon on the meadow, bugs in our ears,
Smoke in our eyes, wet wood and tears,
On up the meadow, water somewhere,
We were the only ones there.

Wild horses rushing, dry lakes and peaks
Finding the love that everyone seeks
Hiking to rainbows, sunsets and stars
Just finding out who we are.

Chorus

We will return here, some lucky day
Our hearts will guide us, they know the way.
People in cities just don’t understand,
Falling in love with the land.

Moon on the meadow, bugs in our ears
Smoke in our eyes, wet wood and tears
On up the meadow, water somewhere
With you my friend, I am there.

I miss camp. <3

I promise, I’ll be back soon!

2010-01-25T15:16:00.001-08:00

My paper for OSCAR is due Friday, and I must spend all of my free time on it. Here’s a summary of today, though, the first day of my last semester of high school (copied from my DailyBooth):

Today was the first day of second semester! Summary:

1/2: CAD. Dude. I love it. I made a van. 80% of the class is comprised of potheads, but I still like it. It's practical, and it's not AP Lit.
3: Wind Symphony. I love band. We have more trumpets and another tuba. It's great. I got moved up to the second row.
4. Directed study French IV. Holy moley, this class is going to be awesome. Chris and I get to learn what the normal class is learning (plus more!) in the foreign language office. We get to read Le Petit Prince. Better yet, there is a microwave in the room, and I have B lunch in the middle of it. And we can eat in there. Ohhh yeahhhh.
5. AP Calc. 11 kids, not counting Mr. V. Nuff said. That class is a blast.
6. AP Physics C. 14 kids. Oh gosh... This one's going to be bad. There are so many goofs in that class. Good thing I'm not taking the AP test?

Anyways... my semester for OSCAR ends on Friday. So... I will be working from 7-midnight on it. I really need to get the Review of Literature done. It's so dryyyyy though. >.>

Oh, and we had PRISM today! <3 Good things happened. A lot of people didn't show up though. :( Sadness. We're voting on t-shirts next week though, so that should get some more people to come.

So yeah.

Remember, kids: Procrastination is like masturbation. In the end, you’re just screwing yourself.

Winter Break, Condensed.

2010-01-02T12:12:00.001-08:00

So, I’ve obviously haven’t blogged in a looooong time. This is mostly due to a) busyness and b) laziness. Now, during these last two days of break, I am attempting to finish organizing myself. So, here’s a lowdown of what I’ve been up to these past few weeks (assisted by DailyBooth pictures):

I have my tube (and a brother)!

I was given some yummy yarn (Rowan All Seasons Cotton), and I started knitting some MIT Knucks.

Progress!

My family’s Christmas Day. Santa brought me a Nerf Maverick! :D Epic Nerf battles with the brother commenced. They were made even more epic when we blasted some Lady Gaga. I love my bro. <3

I got nostalgic when I found this picture of my Grandpa and I. You can’t tell from this picture of the picture, but I had no front teeth. D’Awww…. :)

I got some Red Heart yarn from my cousin, and I started a “My So Called” guitar strap.

I finished one handsewn fuzzy D20 for Felix (and a hat for me!).

I finished them both! :D

I received a holiday card from MIT. <3

I whined about (and worked on) all of the surveys/research stuff for OSCAR. Yes, that is a large stack of surveys.

Some of my stuffed animals found a home.

And….

PEANUT! :D

So yeah. My break has been good. Extremely busy and hectic, but good. :)

Oh, and I decided not to apply to Carnegie Mellon. I mean, I’m in at MIT (who has great finaid), so… I’ve got my heart set on it. I even ordered a shirt!

HOLY FSM! I’m in!!!

2009-12-16T19:16:00.001-08:00

Dude. I’m in. I’m totally in. I’m not just in limbo. I am IN.

Dude. This is hella sweet.

(Sorry for the late post; I was trying to manage my rapidly accumulating Facebook notifications.)

It’s the Final Countdown

2009-12-16T12:29:00.001-08:00

Doo noo noo noooo, doo noo NOO noo nooooo……..

Yeah. There are fewer than 6 hours until decisions, and I have a Calc test for which to study. Anyways, quick update on my life:

- I attended my first Gearheads meeting yesterday- amazing! All of the members that I met were SUPER nice and really quirky and awesome. The team was SO well-run and organized, but still laid back enough that it was fun; it was also pretty much totally student-run, unlike my past three years. ANDDD there are girls on the team, a welcome change from last year. All of the mentors/parents that I met were really kind and welcoming. I think I might be a part of the “controls” group this year; they do all the programming, some of which, I think, can be done outside of meetings. I mention this because there is one down side to joining the team- the school at which they meet is 30 minutes away. Both of my parentals work, and they’re both REALLY crabby after work. So, unless I come up with a working solution, I’ll only be able to come to MAYBE a few weekday practices. Luckily, I believe that they have long practices on weekends, and I can always go to those. I have a few solutions floating around between my ears, and I might share those sometime in the future. Not now though.

- I am applying for a summer job at this amazing Canadian camp. It is an all-girls camp with this unique language program- half the camp is Francophone, and half is Anglophone. They have a language program of sorts that allows campers and staff to learn more of the other language. It’s really ingenious.

- Senior year is kind of a joke. This Friday, the day before break, this is my schedule: 1st hour AP Calc party; 2nd hour Physics party; 3rd hour band (possibly party?); 4th hour online class (reviewing surveys); 5th hour party (Madame doesn’t know about it though… it’s a surprise); 6th hour AP Lit party. Gotta love public schools…?

-The surveys were distributed today (for OSCAR). I’ve already gotten some back. They’re… interesting. I’ll start compiling the data numerically over break.

-Still haven’t heard back from UMich. Let’s just hope their decision is irrelevant come 9:01 this evening. :)

Gearheads!

2009-12-15T03:01:00.001-08:00

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess who’s part of the FIRST Gearheads #1189? That’s right, I am! I just emailed the superintendent of the school district, and they checked with the legal department, and they found that I could legally join. So I am! The first meeting is today.

I’m so pumped. :D

I Cannot Even Express How Much Love I Have for This Picture.

2009-12-12T19:01:00.001-08:00

If I Were a Pokémon…

2009-12-12T15:02:00.001-08:00

I’d be a Rattata.

Sure, Rattata is kind of a basic Pokémon. He only really has one move. People underestimate him because he’s purple. But you know what? Rattata is a badass. Small and quick, he rocks the purple fur. And his bite hurts.

*Inspired by the “make your profile picture a Pokémon” Facebook craze.

In other news, I’m working on sewing on my sneaker covers, the second of which I finished this morning.

Ps. 4 days, 3 hours! AHHHHHH!!!

Reasons #607 that MIT = EPIC WIN

2009-12-12T14:34:00.001-08:00

For those who don’t know, I’m gay. No, I’m SUPER-gay. SUPER DUPER GAY. So I was hella excited when I came across this blog post by Laura ‘09:

http://www.mitadmissions.org/topics/life/lgbt_at_mit/the_rainbow_lounge.shtml

“The MIT Rainbow Lounge exists as a place and a home for all people - lgbt, questioning, allies & friends - to feel comfortable about themselves, while learning and sharing with others.

Through the establishment of the Rainbow Lounge the MIT students, staff, faculty and guests strive to:
- provide a safe space for the MIT LBGTQ community, including allies
- achieve a better sense of community with its cross-cultural perspectives
- educate about gender issues, safe sex, and LBGT-related topics
- present resources available at MIT and in the surrounding community
- encourage participation of allies and friends
- provide a comfortable space for meetings, relaxation, learning and social interaction”

Dude. That place looks amazing… it’s so bright and cheerful, and it has so many resources- books and movies and such. That’s definitely one of the nicest college LGBTQ centers I’ve seen anywhere. If I get in, I would be SO there from day one. LGBTQ FTW!

MIT Essays.

2009-12-11T16:00:00.001-08:00

Five days and two hours until MIT Early Action admissions decisions. Holy heck.

While writing my *other* college essays, I’ve been thinking about my MIT essays, and it’s freaking me out. Some of my essays for these other colleges are better than the ones for MIT. If only I could reverse them. I took an innovative approach on more than one of the MIT essays, and I really hope the admissions committee appreciated/will appreciate that.

I really hope I get in EA so I can stop freaking out about this. If not, I hope I am deferred. Basically, I don’t want to be flat-out rejected. If I am deferred, I may send out another essay or two (one on bassoon; the other an elaboration on a previous essay).

Anyways, I need to stop fretting. It will all work out in the end.

On Creation.

2009-12-11T13:32:00.001-08:00

And no, I’m not talking about the ridiculous argument against Evolution (technically, that’s CreationISM, but, technically, I needed some catchy introduction for this entry).

I believe that I stated this before, but to offer little doubt to you, I will proclaim the proclamation again: I am an engineer (did you catch my modified ploce there? Expanding my lit rep, one obscure literary term at a time!). The reason I am going to college is so that I can become a professional engineer, earning degrees and such (my engineer rep).

So why am I an engineer. Well, to start off, I love (and am good at) math and science. That’s a given. The real characteristic that defines me as an engineer rather than a scientist or mathematician is my artistic drive and ability (my “need to express- to communicate”. Thanks, RENT). If I didn’t like math and science so much, my career goal would probably be an artist.

That’s not to say I’m not an artist already. I mean, I knit. I create. I make music. I guess it’s the same situation as my engineering situation. I’m an artist, but I’m not a professional artist. That makes sense.

So yeah. Back to college apps.

“I Am” Poem

2009-12-10T14:46:00.001-08:00

So, I usually don’t like to repost things, but this is an exception. Just read it.

--------------------------------------------------

I am the boy who never finished high school,
because I got called a fag every day.

I am the girl kicked out of her home
because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the guy that lives on the streets
because I am scared to go home.

I am the prostitute working the streets
because I can’t find anybody who will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother
tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried
our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital
because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away
from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am the Christian that can’t find a pastor to
marry me to a woman in the eyes of God.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess.
I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks,
and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.

I am the child that dreams of seeing my mum again.
The courts won’t let me because
she lives with another woman.

I am the woman who fears that
I will never be able to be myself,
to be free of this secret because I won’t risk losing my family.

We are the couple who had the realtor
hang up on us when she found out we wanted
to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which
bathroom I should use if I want to avoid
getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed
to even visit the children I
bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who
found the support system grow suddenly
cold and distant when they found out my
abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the brother that gets called a fag
just because my brother isn’t ashamed of who he is.

I am the father who has never hugged his son
because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the girl that was raped behind my school
because some stranger wanted to teach me to be a “real woman”.

I am the home-economics teacher
who always wanted to teach gym
until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the guy down the street
that can’t get a disability pension
because my partner is a man.

I am the woman who died
when the paramedics stopped treating me
because they found out I didn’t have a female body.

I am the man that is afraid of losing his job,
for expressing his true identity.

I am the mother that sees my son
come home from school every day in tears
because the other kids call him a girl.

I am the celebrity that wishes I could
tell the world who I am, but I’m too scared.

I am the domestic-violence survivor
who has no support system to turn to
because I am male.

I am the person who feels guilty
because I think I could be a much better person
if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church,
not because I don’t believe,
but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the Youth Worker
that sees hundreds of kids thrown out of home
because they were honest with their families.

I am the girl that struggles to get up in the morning
because school is so cruel to me.

I am the footballer scared to come out
because I might lose my contract.

I am the boy that always wanted a Barbie,
but no one would let me have one.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.

I am the woman that wants to join the army,
but my family wont let me because I would look like a dyke.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I’m a lesbian,
because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence,
beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die
because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”.

I am the bisexual whose friends
don’t want her to go to a movie with them
because there’ll be a homophobe there,
and they don’t want him to get mad at them for inviting me.

I am the Christian teenager
who can’t tell his conservative family who he really is,
cause they would see him as an abomination.

We are all around you.

We are the millions that want the hate to end.

There is no true originator to this poem.

It is simply a compliation of various “I Am” poems
submitted by GLTBQ people that has continue to grow.

There are MANY different versions.

-------------------------------------------------

Source: http://shaanmichael.tumblr.com/post/217380790

Bucket List

2009-12-07T16:02:00.001-08:00

Things I want to do before I die (in no particular order; more things will be added later):

-own a kitten

-ride the Dragster at Cedar Point

-fly in a helicopter

-have an original pattern published in Knitty

-put on an awesome, rehearsed drag show

-publish a research paper

-get a patent

-learn to spin yarn

-knit a sweater

-kiss a girl

-live on my own

-live with a roommate

-bike 100 miles straight

-learn how to fly

-go raw for 30+ days

-become a boss

-run an original research project

-go to Burning Man

MIT DECISIONS COME OUT IN 9 DAYS!!!

2009-12-07T14:50:00.001-08:00

At one point in my life, I thought my coming out was the most nerve wracking coming out ever. Now, I think the MIT ED Decisions’ coming out may be a weensie bit scarier. (Just kidding…. but it is really scary)

Anyways, MIT ED Decisions will be released online on Wednesday, December 16th at 9pm. WOO! I’M PUMPED!

In other news, I <3 The Cliks and Lucas Silviera.

Knitted Socks.

2009-12-06T18:43:00.001-08:00

Dude. Ever have one of those days where you just feel BAD. Where you just want to lay down and sleep in a comfy bed in a room heated to 72 degrees exactly? Well, today was not one of those days for me, but I now what could comfort me if I was having one: hand-knitted socks.

In case you were not aware: I LOVE HAND-KNITTED SOCKS!

Knitting them is one thing. With some soft Bamboo Cotton slips through your fingers, producing a smooth, yet durable and attractive fabric. Gosh, it’s relaxing. Then, when you cast off the last stitch and weave in the last end, you can finally slip the pair on. Oh, it’s just wonderful. The hugging stretch of the ankle part… the squooshy softness of the heel as you stand up. I love it. I LOVE IT.

….I really need to finish my Jaywalkers.

My Best Friend OSCAR

2009-12-06T09:17:00.001-08:00

So, I’m taking an online class through Michigan Virtual High School this semester called Online Scholar Community Advanced Research (OSCAR). This is what the class is supposed to be, according to the website:

“The Online Scholar Community Advanced Research (OSCAR) course is an innovative course for high school students who want an opportunity to conduct in-depth research on diverse topics outside of the constraints of a traditional school setting. Employing 21st century collaborative and virtual teaming skills, OSCAR participants will use online tools and the Internet to work in research teams of two or four students from different schools around the state. Research teams will develop topics of investigation based on student interests.”

Vague, eh? But it looked interesting, and I had always wanted to try taking an online class. I also wanted to polish my online communication skills. I thought that this class would allow me to learn in-depth about a topic that I would normally not learn in school.

And so I signed up. The class had a bit of a rocky start, starting two weeks late because no other student had signed up yet. Finally, another student signed up, and the class started.

The first few weeks were kind of dull and extremely easy. They mostly consisted copyright, writing citations, and simple little activities like those. During the first few weeks, my partner stopped logging in. After about 3 weeks of this, my instructor and I decided to have me carry on by myself for the rest of the semester. It was a bummer, but I figured now that I would have a better opportunity to cater my research to something that would benefit my community. And then the big idea hit.

As you may know, I am in my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, PRISM. We had been discussing making a survey to distribute to the school exploring the climate for LGBTQ students at our school. And BINGO- my research project.

Now, I’m somewhere around week 7 in the course (though I still have to polish my Review of Literature), and I have come up with a few methods for my research. I have a 10-question teacher survey to explore how teachers perceive the climate of the school and how they improve (or worsen) it. I have an outline (still need to finish) a student survey to detail their experiences at our school. With both of these, I will attach an optional form to be filled out if the taker would like to be contacted for a confidential interview. I may also conduct a group discussion with PRISM to explore how members have been treated due to their membership, what kinds of bullying problems exist in our school, and what we might be able to do to stop these problems. I will then compile my Lit Review and findings into a research paper.

After completing my research paper (around the end of January), I plan to present my findings (in the form of a PowerPoint, most likely) to the school board/principal/school staff. Exciting, huh?

As you can probably guess, I am very grateful for the opportunities and resources provided by this class. I’ll keep y’all posted with how things go.

Why I Love Physics (Class)

2009-12-04T16:47:00.001-08:00

Potential Energy ----> Kinetic Energy

We have plans to build a larger one. A much, much larger one.

Ps. What? Cell phone in class, what? Nooooooo....

Peektures!

2009-12-04T16:32:00.001-08:00

So, I finally got around to taking pictures of CrissCross and my Tall Yoga socks.

And thus:

Tall Yoga Socks:

View Full Album

CrissCross:

View Full Album

Also in knitting news, I have pretty much decided to not submit my pattern to Knitty because it involves little knitting and lots of sewing (and a pair of sneakers). I think I may try my hand at designing a sock pattern instead. Meanwhile, I will polish up the pattern for my “secret” project and post it on here and on Ravelry. Fair enough? I’m still really excited about this project. :)

This One’s for You, Gumdrop. ;)

2009-11-30T19:08:00.001-08:00

I Finished CrissCross (and an Update)!

2009-11-30T19:05:00.001-08:00

Two things:

1. I finished CrissCross! Pictures soon, I promise. I’ll take and post them as soon as I find my camera cord.

2. I started a new project! I’m going to call it Ninja (because it’s a secret). It’s pretty small and quick. I have finished about half of Secret 1.o. However, I can’t tell you any more because I am planning to submit the pattern to Knitty. I think I’m a little more nervous about that application than my MIT application. Problem? I think not. ;P

I Love my School.

2009-11-30T18:57:00.001-08:00

No, seriously. Despite my occasional whining and sniveling about dumb policies and people at my school, I really love it here, and here’s why:

Valedictorian =/= the highest GPA

Valedictorian = GPA above 4.0

I LOVE that policy. Teenagers can be cutthroat enough. For the ten-ish of us at the top, this is a great relief. Just as long as we keep our scores at our personal bests and above a 4 point, we get the honor. The only advantage to having the highest GPA is the honor of giving a speech at graduation. This rule allows us all to RELAX, refrain from throttling each other, and abstain from killing ourselves with AP’s we don’t want to take (for GPA boosts).

I’m not saying it’s perfect or anything. Naturally, there is still some competition and dirty playing that go on behind the scenes. For example, I got many smirks and strange looks when I told others that I am taking CAD (Computer Aided Design) next semester. What they don’t know is that I have a great relationship with the teacher due to robotics. This, coupled with my drive, intellect, prior CAD knowledge, and stubborn wit will allow me to personalize my experience in the class, working ahead and learning FOR MY OWN ENJOYMENT (what a concept!). Sure, I’ll probably have to start off making mousetraps. But you shall see! You all shall see!! I will make my way up. I actually have some projects in mind: an electric spinning wheel, a wooden spinning wheel (possibly collapsible, if I can engineer it), and/or an electric knitting machine (I’d have to learn code for this. :P). Plus, CAD is undoubtedly essential for an engineer.

So yeah. I’m pretty excited to be able to take this class and not worry about my class rank too much. Actually… I don’t really think I’d worry too much about it anyway. I’ve learned throughout the years that I really need to take classes in which I am interested, otherwise I’ll die of boredom. Even if my class selection doesn’t include 3037258023 AP’s, and my GPA is .006 behind the top. Whoop.

Apophysis

2009-11-29T17:31:00.000-08:00

This program ROCKS. Like DUDE. Pretty much, it's a fractal generator. I'm not going to go into the nitty gritty, but here's some of the flames that I made (in chronological order):

My first flame. A bit of a resolution fail, but I corrected that.

My second flame. The gradient was taken from a picture of a Pride flag. :)

Third flame. Inspired by some snow that was supposed to occur but didn't. This looks really great as a wallpaper.

Fourth. Inspired by the German flag (gradient taken from an image of the flag) and my friend Felix.

Fifth. Inspired by and made during my daily coffee and Silk.

And that's it. I'll continue to share these as I render them. Yaaaaay fractals!

I Love Contraversial Music.

2009-11-29T17:18:00.000-08:00

And Amanda Palmer. Which is the same thing much of the time. Let's just say the contraversial is y = 0 and Amanda Palmer is y = sin(x). Yeah... she crosses that line regularly.

That video was banned from some British network a while ago. I mean, I understand that rape and abortions are heavy subjects and all, but seriously? This bites my bonnet. Listen to the meaning behind the music. Even though she's going through all this shitty teenage crap, a simple thing such as music can get her through it. It's sad that a small thing such as tempo can get a song banned. Had the song been sad, drippy, and depressing, it would not have been so ill-received, as illustrated by the live video of Amanda below:

Oh, the irony of mainstream music demand. :)

Thanksgiving Recipes!

2009-11-25T18:23:00.001-08:00

In my AP Lit class, we decided to have a Thanksgiving feast on Tuesday, our last day before break. So, the night before, I whipped up a few improvised treats. Here are the approximate recipes:

------------------------------------------------------

Garlicky Mashed Potatoes

Ingredients:

6 redskin potatoes

2 tbsp. garlic, chopped and sautéed

1/4 cup Earth Balance or oil

salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions:

Fill a large pot with water and 2 tsp. salt. Quarter potatoes, and add them to the pot. Cook until tender- about 25 minutes. Drain potatoes and mash. Add remaining ingredients and stir. Thin with some unsweetened soymilk, if desired. Enjoy!

Serves 4

------------------------------------------------------

Ginger Walnut Vegan Mashed Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients:

3 large sweet potatoes

1/2 cup Earth Balance vegan marg.

1/4 cup vanilla or regular soymilk

1 cup walnuts, chopped roughly

2 tsp. fresh ginger, pulverized

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

Instructions:

Cut up sweet potatoes into 1-oz chunks. Boil a pot of water on stove. Add potatoes; cook until tender. Drain potatoes and mash. Mix potatoes with rest of ingredients. Add sugar/agave/maple syrup and soymilk to taste. Enjoy this sweet treat!

Serves 4-6.

------------------------------------------------------

Northern Bean and Onion Vegan Gravy

Ingredients:

2 tsp. vegetable oil

1 large onion

1/2 tsp. garlic

1 16-oz can northern beans, drained and rinsed

2 tsp. soy sauce

1/2 tsp. white pepper

1/3 cup vegetable stock

Instructions:

Heat oil in nonstick skillet. Add onions and garlic, and cook on medium-high until onions are translucent. Add northern beans, soy sauce, white pepper, and vegetable stock. Stir. Pour all ingredients into a heat-safe bowl. Using an immersion blender, blend mixture. Add salt and black pepper to taste. Pour into serving bowl and enjoy! :)

Serves 4-6

------------------------------------------------------

I hope you enjoy these yummy dishes as you celebrate this autumnal season. :)

College…

2009-11-22T11:27:00.001-08:00

Dude… MIT EA decisions will most likely be released in less than a month. I’m pretty pumped about that. However, I’m not going to fool myself. I will not assume that I will get in because, statistically, I probably won’t. I’m fine with that.

Hitting the submit button for that app brought a sense of closure. Though I did not obsess over my app, I did write true, concise essays that conveyed who I am.

(Fun fact: My last ExtraCurric? Dungeons and Dragons Club. Hell yes!)

Anyways, my outlook on college is a lot different from what it was … oh, about the beginning of this past summer. For example, here is my college list from around June ‘09 (in order of preference):

MIT, Caltech, Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, Cornell, Northwestern, (insert string of Ivies here), UMich

^That’s pretty much the average list of anyone on CollegeConfidential. Dude, that place scares the shit out of me. I see profiles of kids who have 4972498 international awards, have 6.001 GPA’s, and save orphans from burning buildings. It’s like a fashion magazine… I try not to look at it because it makes me feel bad about myself. :(

ANYWAYS. Here is my list now (in order of preference):

MIT (EA- applied), UMich (EA- applied), Carnegie Mellon (RD), RPI (RD), Michigan Tech (safety- accepted)

What brought about this change? Well, it really started with MIT. I was surfing around their admissions website, and I came across a wonderful idea- called “the match”. Basically, to get into MIT, the admissions committee has to see that you are a good “match” for the school. Flip that around, and you have my philosophy- my top colleges have to match ME or I’ll be miserable post-matriculation.

I hate hot weather. I love random clubs. I love the city. These and a whole bunch of other reasons caused me to do some serious work on my list. Now here’s a rundown of them:

MIT- What can I say? I love this place. From the outstanding research opportunities to the hands-on classes (think “Mens et Manus” aka: “Mind and Hand”- MIT’s Motto), MIT is pretty much everything I want in a college. I even picked out my #1 dorm choice: EAsT camPUS, known for their super murals in their hallways and the rollercoaster (YES, ROLLERCOASTER!!!) that they build every year. There are so many activities and things in which I would love to be involved. Plus, MIT has hacks. Mwahaha. :D As you can see, it’s pretty much perfect for me (let’s just hope the admissions committee thinks so…).

UMich- Another wonderful place. It’s closer to my home, which is a plus. I’ll also know some people there, which has its own pros and cons. UMich has a great engineering program. They also have many engineering-related teams and clubs. The surrounding area (Ann Arbor) is very liberal. There are many co-ops and vegetarian food places, as well as yarn stores! However, there are some drawbacks. The football team is huge (ick. :( ), and a lot of the classes, I hear, are not very hands on- pretty much, read this, memorize it, and there’s a test next class. Nevertheless, I know that I would still be extremely happy there.

Carnegie Mellon- Great engineering, great location. Lots of robotics. Not much else to say here…? I know I’d be happy here.

RPI- Same as CMU above. My AP Calc teacher went here. I might get bonus points if I decide to matriculate. :P

MTU- AWESOME location. I love snow! However, its academics are a little weaker than those above. Still a possibility, but not very likely.

So yes. As you can see, I have wisened up about my college choices. Now I just have to get in!

I’d like to conclude this entry with a shoutout to the MIT Admissions Committee (I put my blog URL in my app): I know you guys and girls and everyone else are working very hard on reading our monstrous stack of applications. Just know that we (or at least I) appreciate everything you’re doing for us (and that if you admit me, I’ll knit you all matching socks. Just kidding… maybe). Anyways, happy reading! :)

Knitting Knews

2009-11-22T08:11:00.001-08:00

Great news! I was digging around in my knitting stuff, and what did I find nestled in my unfinished GEARS Sweater? Another small bit of navy yarn (about the size of a genetically modified strawberry), a larger ball of turmeric-dyed yarn (the stuff I used for my Twinkletoes socks; a bit thicker than what I was using, but oh well), and some not-yet-dyed yarn. So Criss-Cross is out of its 1-day hibernation!

I took another look at my GEARS vest today. I decided that, since it was almost done anyway, I will finish it and probably don it on one of my stuffed animals. It’s a cute vest, you know? So, out of hibernation!

I asked my mom what she wanted for the holidays, and she said she wanted a cold-weather headband. So, I’m thinking maybe Quant and a matching Entrelac Scarf ? And for dad, an Irish Hiking Scarf (with a matching hat , if I have time)? And for my bro, I’m still thinking about a mohawk hat .

Yarn list (for my own sake):

~600 yards color-changing yarn (Quant and Entrelac Scarf)

~500 yards solid-color cotton/acrylic yarn (Irish Hiking Scarf/Hat)

~200 yards bulky- Red Wings’ red and white?- (mohawk hat)

So yes… I need to get to the yarn store!

I Cannot Wait to Get out of High School.

2009-11-22T07:43:00.001-08:00

Or rather, I can’t wait to go to college.

This calls for a countdown:

Countdown To Last Day of School!

Do You Remember- the 21st Night in November?

2009-11-21T11:32:00.001-08:00

The title has nothing to do with this post.

What I want to talk about today is: holiday knitting. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

What brought this about? Why did I not think about this before? Truthfully, I’ve been focused on my Criss-Crossed hat. I’m a greedy knitter. Shame on me! :) Anyways, I ran out of blue yarn, and I started thinking up some more projects that could occupy my time until I have more navy yarn.

So yeah… I really have to get on that. I was thinking of making my dad a pair of Dashing gloves and my mom a So-Called Scarf . Yes? I’ll probably end up making my brother a mohawk hat . Those are always fun. :)

So yeah.

In other news, I got the school paper today! PRISM was on the bottom half of the front page. Score! I was also quoted in an article about school budget cuts. In the issue, there was a dual-opinion article- “Evolution vs. Creation” which made me LOL. A lot. I might scan it into my computer and post it on here so you can share in all of the lulz and major fail. You’ll see what I’m talking about when you read it.

Mmmkay, I think it’s time for bassoon now. :)

Knitting Update

2009-11-20T03:23:00.001-08:00

So, I’ve been working on my ‘Criss Cross’ hat, as seen on the sidebar. Here are some details on the project:

^So there’s a crappy webcam shot of the project.

I am pretty much winging it with this one. If I have the initiative and some extra time (holiday break?), I will write up a pattern. It’s being made with yellow sportweight yarn that I dyed with turmeric and navy sportweight yarn that I dyed with RIT dye. I started the project with about an inch and a half of 1x1 ribbing. Then, I switched to the royal quilting stitch for the main section of the hat.

I started it in mid-October, and I hope to complete it before the new year. However, I am dangerously low on blue yarn, so I will have to buy and dye some more. I will most likely need more yellow also.

That being said, I will leave you with a fun fact about this project: The majority of this was knitted during class. Yay public knitting!

Ravelry and New Sidebar Elements!

2009-11-19T18:44:00.001-08:00

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet, but I LOVEEE Ravelry.com. Right now, it’s in its Beta stages. But what is it, you ask? It’s pretty much like the Facebook for knitters (minus Farmville, thank goodness). There are so many resources, from pattern browsers to yarn finders and suggestion tools to forums. I love it. So now I have finally gotten around to utilizing one of their many tools: the blog badges and progress meters. Above is a screenshot of my profile.

My projects:

You may have noticed that there have been some changes in the sidebar of my blog (look to your right). I now have progress meters that are linked to my Ravelry profile. They show the percentage of completion of my various live projects. I also have a Ravelry “badge” with a link to my profile (name: VAL1ant) directly under it. Remember, if you want to see my FO’s (finished objects), you must go to my Ravelry profile. I am in the process of inputting all of my FO’s into my project collection, so keep your eyes out for it.

Groups:

So that’s that! Join Ravelry! :)

PRISM and the School Paper!

2009-11-19T18:30:00.001-08:00

Great news! PRISM (my school’s GSA that I founded) will be featured, on the front page, I believe, in my school’s newspaper! I’ll try to get pictures after it comes out on Monday.

In other news, I <3 An Horse!

Application- Completed!

2009-11-18T13:14:00.001-08:00

This is the beautiful sight that met my eyes on the morn of this beautiful day:

Mmm, yes! Everything’s in. Now my application will skip along its merry way to the admissions office.

I can’t wait for decisions! :D

FIRST > Battlebots (aka: I’m Royally Ticked)

2009-11-11T13:54:00.001-08:00

So, I’m on a robotics team. I have been for the past 3 years. Today, we had our first meeting of the season today. And that’s where the fun starts.

(Let me clarify that statement: By “fun”, I mean a completely horrible chain of events.)

Last year, we hit a rough patch in the team, both financially and participation-wise. Most of this was due to too much mentor “leadership” (coughdictatorshipcough). Also, our main sponsor dropped us due to their own financial concerns. Due to both of these, we now owe the school $7800. However, we did gain two sponsors whose financial commitment for this year equals $2200. Here’s the bottom line:

Expenses:

$7800 (owe the school) + $5000 (entrance fee) - $2200 (sponsorship) = $10,600

Ouch.

However, the $5000 is due by December 1st. So, we really need to raise $2800 in three weeks. Yikes. It’s possible though. I am totally willing to participate in, even LEAD, the fundraising efforts.

Here is, however, what the head mentor suggested we do:

A) Play around with the free FIRST Lego League kits that he got for free.

B) Battlebots. Okay, National Robotics League. But still- Battlebots.

The first one is pretty unlikely. Those things can be assembled in a manner of hours. Lego League is for elementary kids. This choice was not popular during the meeting.

B was more widely received (by the other three kids who bothered to show up).

Here’s my opinion:

I didn’t just join (and stay with) the robotics team because I love robots. The truth is, I stuck with the team because I love FIRST. FIRST Robotics is unlike any organization in which I have been involved. One of its token rules is “gracious professionalism”. No where is that more evident than the competitions. There, teams work both on the field (as alliances in the game) and off the field (lending expertise, tools and parts with other teams). In FIRST, you cheer for your team AND the other teams. It’s just a wonderful cooperative, happy, high-energy THING. I could go on forever about why I love it.

With Battlebots, however, the goal of the game is to “disable” (ie: damage) the other robots. There are no alliances. You work against everyone. Teams are not highly regarded. While FRC presents teams with real-world challenges plus the challenges of building a robot, Battlebots presents students with a challenge that will never be used in the real world- crushing all others. The real-life scientific community is collaborative. Collaboration makes innovation; total domination does not. Plus, the competitions are far away in other states, adding to the cost through travel and rooming. The price tag would pretty much even out, plus or minus $1000.

In conclusion, if my team decides to be INCREDIBLY STUPID and joins Battlebots, I’m jumping ship. I love FIRST, and I will not settle for anything less.

An (Almost) Perfect Day

2009-11-10T18:13:00.001-08:00

So, I got my schedule somewhat straightened out today. Here’s what it looks like right now:

Hour	Class
1	CAD (VTC)
2	CAD (VTC)
3	Wind Symphony
4	Directed Study French IV
5	MST AP Calc AB (VTC)
6	MST AP Physics C (Mechanics) (VTC)
7(additional)	AP Lit? Or another English class…

A quick note: I don’t think I put the VTC’s on my last schedule chart. VTC = Vocational/Technical Center. MST = Math/Science/Technology Program. I will (maybe) talk more about that one some other day. MST is housed in the VTC, which serves students from my district’s two main high schools and a few other outside schools.

So yeah, as you can see, 4/6 of my classes will be at the VTC. If you attended my school, you would know that is a very, VERY good thing. The VTC is mostly new, nice-smelling, and not very crowded. Plus, you get a nice little relaxing bus ride to and from the center (except when you get a driver who WILL NOT LEAVE until the whole bus is filled, two to a seat. >.>). So yeah. This is good news.

There is a small catch, however. While my French IV teacher had no problem with my directed study choice, my AP Lit teacher was more than a little hesitant to the idea, as indicated in the table above. Key components of the class are classroom discussions and activities. She said that she couldn’t really justify giving me credit if I wasn’t in the class. She did say that she would talk to my (awesome!) counselor about it. So we shall see… If I cannot take AP Lit, I will have to find another English class to take as a 7th hour (we only have 6 hours). Bah.

But yeah. Things are solidifying.

Also, a notification: I am going to a communication camp after school from Thursday through the afternoon on Saturday. So… don’t expect any blogging until the weekend/Monday. Not that anyone is following my blog anyway. :P

One Month (plus or minus a few days)!

2009-11-10T16:11:00.001-08:00

…Until MIT decision letters/tubes! This calls for an exclamation:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

In other news, I found an amazing Amanda Palmer cover on uke.

This song reminds me very much of the Challenger and Columbia disasters. It’s really a gorgeous song.

Making a Spinning Wheel

2009-11-08T09:46:00.001-08:00

As you know, I am a knitter. A knitter obsessed with knitting… and purling… and intarsia, and stranded knitting, and cables, and patterns, and grafting….

Well, something you may not know is that I really want to learn how to spin yarn. Like, really badly (not to spin yarn badly… I badly want to learn how to spin. Narf.). So, because I don’t feel like shelling out X dollars (actually more like XXX.XX dollars) for a spinning wheel, the little DIY nerd inside of me ran to Google. Google says:

Hobby Robotics

Answer, complete *clap*. (Dorky camp skit reference).

So anyways, I really want to build one of these. Maybe (if I take CAD) Fox’ll let me make it for my first CAD project instead of a mousetrap or something pointless (especially for a vegan) like that.

In other news, I’m working on a hat. I casted on… around the 25th of October. It’s really nice looking. I might actually submit it to Knitty, if I get the guts and the patience to write out the pattern.

If Something in the Deli Aisle Makes You Cry…

2009-11-08T09:36:00.001-08:00

I love The Blow. Also, check out the V tree at 2:48.

My School Schedule and FIRST Robotics History

2009-11-08T09:33:00.001-08:00

I have a dilemma.

This is my schedule for this semester:

Hour	Class
1	MST Calculus AB
2	MST AP Physics C Mechanics
3	Wind Symphony
4	OSCAR (online research class)
5	French IV
6	AP English Lit

OSCAR, which I am taking through Michigan Virtual High School, is a one-semester class. I must fill that spot for next semester. What shall I do? Well, I might have a solution.

Ever since the introductory meeting of my FIRST Robotics team freshman year, I have wanted to take CAD. Fox (our head mentor) was not yet ready to start the meeting, so he told us freshmen that we could take a CAD book and fool around on the computers and maybe try to learn some of it. That day, I made several things (a mini golf course and a Spongebob-like dude), none of which would benefit the team.

During the following years, I focused more on the marketing, spirit, and build of the team, rather than design. I helped test materials and build and machine parts during freshman year, and I did more of the same throughout the next year. I also led the marketing division, which I enjoyed. Last year, there were some issues with mentors and a lack of student leadership and enthusiasm. My team began to fail at the very thing for which it was created- to inspire young engineers through the cooperation of students and real engineers. The team became a place for the some mentors to build a robot with the students’ help, whereas it should have been the opposite. Because of this, I took a sabbatical of sorts- I didn’t attend many meetings, and I did most work from home. I did not have much involvement with the robot besides painting its “head” and making the mascot head (and being mascot!)

Because of all of this drama that occurred, many of my friends will not be joining this year. :(

Nevertheless, I feel a sense of renewal in the team. Our first meeting is on Wednesday. I’ll let y’all know how that goes.

Anywaysssss, back to CAD. So, CAD is really useful not only in robotics, but also in real-world engineering. So I really want to take it. The problem? I’d have to drop AP Lit. I like that class. I really do. It’s just that… it’s really easy. And I’m not going to be an English major.

However, I would need an English credit. So, I asked Fox about it, and he said that there is an online appendage that I could take as a 7th hour in conjunction with his CAD class that would give me my last .5 English credits. Yes!

So, I’m still kind of wavering. But I’m leaning towards CAD. I shall think about this some more…

MLIAwesome.

2009-11-06T15:23:00.001-08:00

Okay, so disregard my last post. Yes, D led me on. Yes, I am angry at what she did. But something amazing happened yesterday that rendered my disposition to that of an excited little schoolgirl.

I got asked to prom!

My friend Michelle asked me last night- completely out of the blue. I was still kind of brooding about the whole being led on and screwed over by D thing, and she FB messaged me and asked me (originally) to go with her to her prom. However, my last band concert is scheduled for that day, so I asked her to come to mine, and she said yes! :D

The one catch is that Michelle lives in northern Ohio. She will have her license by May, though, so she will drive up here. :)

So, I’m now totally over D. It really was mostly physical attraction anyway, and I can now admit that to myself. But Michelle…. I like her in all aspects… physically, emotionally, etc.

So yeah! I’m super-duper excited for May now!!

A disclaimer: I swear, I really don’t jump relationships like a middle schooler.

I’m Half Vulcan. No, Seriously.

2009-11-04T16:42:00.001-08:00

A preface: This will probably be a whiny little post about how love sucks and how I should not involve myself in it.

Love sucks. I should not involve myself in it. I have had about 5 major crushes/relationships in my life. This is how it played out:

1. 5th-8th: A boy in my class. Very awkward. This one was a “crush” only. Really, he was just kind of an object who I pretended to like just because my society at the time dictated it. Ah, middle school.

2. 9th-10th: My current best friend. Another boy. He was my best friend, and I liked him more than any other boy at the time. We lasted for a year, and then I came out of the closet.

3. 11th-ish: A girl had a crush on me, but I was very hesitant, and I wasn’t sure where my feelings lay.

4. 11th-ish: I broke rule #1 and had a crush on a straight girl. Wreaked havoc on my meager social life. I don’t like to talk about it.

5. Current: Beautiful girl. Leads me on, breaks my heart. She’s currently dating a boy.

Love sucks… I probably won’t have time for it in college, anyways. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t really have time for it now…

I’m glad I’m going to be an engineer.

To Whom it May Concern…

2009-10-31T13:03:00.001-07:00

So yeah. College apps. *shudder*

Two of my early action applications are due tomorrow- to the University of Michigan (Engineering) and MIT.

Admissions officers, listen up.

College essays, to me, are a way for me to express who I am to you. I wish to use mine as a means of communicating to you how I think and speak. I use correct grammar. I use correct punctuation. But I do not always speak formally.

The way I see it, writing formally is just another way that people conform to please college admissions officers. Who cares if I use a little bit of slang or a contraction here and there? That’s how I think. That’s how I speak. It’s not like I use emoticons or NETSP33K. It’s not like you don’t know that I can write formally. The proof is on my transcript sitting right in front of you- straight A’s in all of my English classes, all through the list.

The way I write is who I am. And that’s really the point of the essay, right?

Two Answers (et un Chanson!)

2009-10-27T14:39:00.001-07:00

So why does that dang sign bother me so much? Look more closely… Chesterfield: Gateway to Anchor Bay? Like they’re really all that cool, and we’re a hick town. Puh-lease. We’re home to the (bankrupt) Lionel Trains company. And many of our roads are paved. They’re home to… a bay. And “Skanker Bay" High School….

All jokes aside, though Chesterfield may not be the greatest place on Earth, I don’t think we should glorify another town on our sign. It’s just degrading.

Speaking of answers, I picked out my band locker today (we finally got the locks in). My number: 42. Enough said.

And, for your enjoyment, a reminder of the season:

My French teacher plays this song every year, several times a week, starting about a fortnight before October 31. Est-ce que tu a peur de cette nuit? Oh, Madame, Oui oui oui oui OUIIIIII!!!!!

This Sign is Irksome.

2009-10-25T18:56:00.001-07:00

So, I ran into my (awesome!) former English teacher at Border’s today. We had a talk about my minute little school district and township.

One thing that we discussed is the sign that announces one’s entrance into the township:

Can you guess why this sign bothers me?

Business is Business, and Business Runs in the Family

2009-10-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

   So, I've been busy. School began around a month ago, and those two fortnights have been a whirlwind of homework, band, college apps, band, teacher recommendations, band, PRISM*, band, and standardized tests. Guess what I have not had time to do? Besides all of the above, knitting. I have been so busy being busy, that I have not knitted in about a week. A WEEK. This has not happened to me... probably in over a year. And I thought I was stressed last year...

   Nevertheless, I love this stress, however stressful it may be. For example, PRISM, as asterisked above, is a special project that I have been working on. PRISM is my school's first Gay-Straight Alliance. I am the founder. We had our first meeting on Monday, and there was a really great turnout! We had about 14 kids, plus our wonderful sponsor and my AP Lit teacher. We had so many attendees, that from now on, we will hold meetings in a regular classroom, instead of a tiny conference room. The meeting was very exciting, and we planned many things for this year during that meeting. I regress, however, before the meeting, I was quite nervous about that pending date. Many of our (hand-colored!) flyers had been torn down and/or defaced. One, I believe, read "F*** Fags".

   Savages.

   But yes, other than the acts of hatred from some ignorant dorfs with whom I attend school and my yarn withdrawals, my life has been great! Hopefully, after Saturday (the SAT Subject Tests- Math II and Physics), I will be less busy and more knitty!

An Introduction to Yarnstorming

2009-09-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

So here is the blog where I introduce to you one of my favorite pastimes: yarnstorming.

Yarnstorming: (noun) a type of graffiti or street art that employs colorful displays of knitted orcrocheted cloth rather than paint or chalk. (Wikipedia)

Also known as yarnbombing, yarnstorming is a rather new knitting phenomenon, with (as of right now) relatively few known groups dedicated to the art. However, some brave souls choose to go it alone- that is, they yarnstorm either by themselves or with a group of friends and fellow knitters. Here are two webpages that collect yarnstorm photos from crafters all over the world.

Unlike graffiti artists, yarnbombers' and yarnstormers' goals of their art are almost exclusively to express creativity and to delight passers-by, rather than to advertise, to make political comments, or to vandalize.

Yarnstorm projects can take many forms. Some are tubular and cover posts, railings, and poles. Some are more shapely and drape over city objects. Some are custom and form-fitting. However, all delight the viewer's eye and imagination.

The duration of each piece varies also. This depends on the weather, the quality of yarn, and the public's appreciation, as well as many other locally varying factors. Despite the mortality of most of these pieces, I believe that the transience only increases the beauty and the great surprise involved in this art.

***Disclaimer: None of these photographs are mine. I am not responsible for any calloused fingers or run-ins with the police due to your taking part in a yarnstorm.

The Danger of Library Cards

2009-08-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

I hope that the picture shows up well. And yes, that is a list of 22 books/DVDs/VHSs on hold that you see below.

Why I should not be allowed to have a library card:

(not shown: $3 fine. Oops.)

Color key:

Pink= GLBT fiction, nonfiction DVD, and fiction DVD (the L Word!!!)

Dark blue= Philosophy.

Brown= Nerdery.

Light blue= Other things that do not fit into the above categories. Rebels.

This is going to be fun.

Trees, Leaves, and Dirt.

2009-07-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

I am going camping for the next week. Don't expect any updates until this weekend.

Sorry for the lame post. :)

Clouds and knitting projects

2009-07-15T11:13:00.001-07:00

I love knitting on cloudy days. They are usually not too hot, so I can knit with acrylic without my hands becoming greasy and sweaty due to their contact with the plastic fibers. The sun is not bright, so I can transfer myself between indoors and outdoors without shocking my poor eyes. I can stay outdoors and not burn under the sun's radiation. Yes, I like cloudy days....

I thought that I might post some knitting projects that I have done so that you may acquire a feel for my creative style. Plug you nose, and jump in!

First up, Keith! He is a cat. I made him sometime during freshman year (from this Knitty.com pattern), and I completed him during a FIRST Robotics Kickoff. Keith is now my robotics team's (un)official mascot. He got booted out of the official spot by our *official* mascot who was born this year. Here he is:

I named him Gerry. He has sparkles.

Next up is my robotics socks. Although there is only one sock in the picture, I finished the other one during the '08-'09 FIRST season. I love these socks. The maroon is from a skein that I recieved in a Flight of the Conchords craft swap. The grey is Cascade Fixation that was left over from a pair of Eunny Jang's Endpaper Mitts.

This item was made for my baby cousin out of some more of that maroon yarn and some white Lion Brand BabySoft. I threaded some grey ribbon through the holes to make a nice little tie. My aunt and uncle seemed to like it.

This is my robotics sweater. Are you noticing a pattern? Anyways, this is not finished yet. I think that I may attempt to transform it into a vest.

Mobius strip cowl. It is a mobius strip. It is a cowl. It is both, and it is not very warm. At least it's pretty.

And a blog is born...

2009-07-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hello world!

My name is Val, and I am a female. This is my blog.

There are two types of people in the world: people who need to know what is to come and those who... do not. The latter may leap frog over this entry and enjoy their stay. The former... keep reading.

Let me give you a bit of a run-down (in list form!) on what is to be expected as you peruse this blog.*

1. Yarn (droooool....)
2. Knitting and the occasional crocheting (What else can I do with aforementioned yarn?)

3. Me, myself, and my problems (I am a teenager. That is excuse enough.)

4. College (I am a high school senior. That is excuse enough.)

5. Math, Science, and Technology (It is the way of the future.)

6. Vegan recipes and such (NOT PETA!)

7. Other craftiness (needlepoint, paper mache, school projects, robotics...)

Well, that is it! I will most likely delve into other topics as well, but these are the head honchos of the bunch. I hope that you will enjoy my blog incognito.

*Subject to change. I am the boss here!